Essay / Misc.

Democrats to make Dean look like Harrison Ford!

MSNBC – Arizona brushes up logo of outdated birdThe old Cardinal logo was a roundhead bird derisively referred to as a “parakeet.” The new version has decidedly more evil eyes and a menacing expression.This is good news for Cardinals fans. A team does not need better players, what it needs is a better, meaner logo. I tremble when I think of my beloved Packers seeing this helmet when they enter the field. Will they be able to even play? Will the terror cause Farve to retire early? Does anyone actually think an evil eyed and menacing cardinal would scare anyone nearly as much as, oh let’s say, a bear or a lion, however cheerful looking? Our cat Athena reports that a menacing cardinal tastes as good as a supine parakeet. However, if this makeover works, then the Cardinal Rule should be applied more broadly. Organizations do not need to do better, just look better. For example, the LA Times would be much more relevant, if it renamed itself the LA Still-Relevant-Times.Imagine if Custer and the Seventh Cavalry had been wearing tougher looking uniforms instead of boring blue. One can only imagine what would have happened if Custer had come to Little Big Horn as a member of the Raider Nation. The American Indians would have run away and Custer might have been President instead of fertilizing the earth with his genius. All of human history could have been changed. France, a tougher looking France, might have won a few wars. They needed to swap the Eiffel Tower as a symbol and go for a meaner looking hunk of cheese. If their troops were to borrow Packer Cheese-heads, then the next German invasion might be stopped before Paris without British and American help.This applies to the present make over of the Democrat party. They need to lose the friendly Donkey symbol and go for a Balaam rebuking Biblical ass. This tough creature needs to have hooves of iron and a mean scowl. Placed on a natty jacket patch, even Howard Dean will look imposing. Imagine Dean yelling with the new logo on his shirt. For more entertainment, imagine Dean’s head in a football helmet. Who needs better ideas when you can simply have better marketing?

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