Essay / Misc.

Fallen from Grace “The Los Angeles Times reveals that Secretary of State-designate Rice has always cheered for the Cleveland Browns. This ought to assure her confirmation.”A sad little event took place today. I discovered that Hugh Hewitt roots for a team so bad they have no name. What does this tell us about Mr. Hewitt?We know he is bright. How could he fail to root for the only true football team: the hallowed Packers of Green Bay? There is only one answer: Mr. Hewitt is trying to be a compassionate conservative. He is rooting for the hapless in hopes of proving his soul is full of pity. Tonight Mr. Hewitt sits in a dark room watching all those Super Bowl tapes with Cleveland Brown highlights. He tries as the snow plays on the blank tape to see a better end to The Drive or to imagine that Jim Brown is still playing. And he fails. I know in the darkness of that moment he turns to a team led by Starr and then Farve. A team so great they name the highest award for their legend coach. A place where the tundra is frozen instead of the minds of barking, mad fans. A place where a team wins. Small town America. Mr. Hewitt come clean. Is unlike you to root for those whom market forces have shown for decades to be unworthy of a franchise. . .in a place so depressing that teams keep fleeing. In your heart Mr. Hewitt it is always 1965. It is snowing. And the score is always 23-12. Your team? It should be, must be Green Bay.

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