Essay / Politics

HughHewitt.com

HughHewitt.com: “Lebanon? What does Kerry Mean by Lebanon?'”Kerry was the elite kid who was running out of money. Other rich kids were not letting him join in any of their rich kid games. He was too proud to work and too gentle to steal. So what was a Forbes-Kerry with a sinking trust fund to do?He had to live on his educational gifts. Note that I did not say he had to live on his wits. Kerry is not witty. . . our modern educational system hates witty. Instead, sometime in private school Kerry mastered the five paragraph essay. (Said Mrs. Grundy to young Kerry, “First, state your opinion. Second, give the other side. Third, give one reason for your view. Fourth, give a second reason. Fifth, sum up and tell an anecdote to “clinch” your case. Or: state your view, give three reasons for your view, sum up with anecdote. Ready: write!”) Check out Kerry’s talk. He is the product of the “subtle is smart” and endless graduate seminar training of his youth. He lives in a five paragraph essay format. (My view: John Kerry is cool, but no one notices. First, marry a rich woman. Second, marry a richer woman. Third, run for President. Sum up: John Kerry is cool!)Now there is no use for the five paragraph essay in the real world, but teachers love them. They grade easily and feel a great deal like critical thinking. The nice thing about them is that they substitute for critical thinking. One can write ever more five paragraph essays on each paragraph of the original! Kerry was very good at this whole game. He went on to please all his teachers. He did very well in school.Doing well in school enabled him to keep his social status high and to meet rich women. These women could be married. They could then help Kerry live in the manner to which he was accustomed. The problem for John “Alcibiades” Kerry is that modern education had ruined him for real world decisions. He has passed not much at all in the Senate, because he must study every nuance of every issue until no one cares. Nothing is simple for Kerry, not even the question about whether anything is simple.Kerry’s response is faux-historical and schoolish. It sounds deep without actually venturing into any real thought. What is the Lebanon reference? It is a reference to a mess that cannot be solved. It is in the Middle East. It really does not mean more, but could easily make an excellent five paragraph essay. “Give three reasons Iraq is like Lebanon” “Give three reasons Lebanon became a mess.” Kerry could talk endlessly on this topic so he likes it.

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