Essay / On This Day

Today Saint Fillan's Hand Probably Glowed (777)

Fillan Crozier Today in the year 777, Saint Fillan of Scotland died, that is, if he really existed.

Surely there must have been some historical figure back behind the legends and landmarks of Saint Fillan. But the legends alone, bristling with Scottish and Irish names, are pretty cool: He and his mother (Kentigerna!) and uncle (Comgan!) moved from Ireland to Scotland, where Fillan became abbot of a monastery.

Fillan is pretty much the Chuck Norris of Scottish saints. He was a good monk, so most of what he did was pray, farm, and study the Bible. But he did it like a superhero, and he had special relics:

He had a staff with a silver head, called a Quigrich (or even Coygerach!). He had a bell called a Bernane (!) with a carving of a sea monster on it, and the bell would fly through the air to him whenever he needed it! He had a Fergy (!!) and he had a Messer (!!!), but nobody knows what they were! And he had a Mayne… oh yes, a Mayne.

His Mayne was his left arm. This left arm gave off enough light so that Fillan could read the Bible after dark, and even transcribe it with his right hand by the light of his left. Someone snuck a peak at his glowing arm, and Fillan called on a bird to pluck his eyes out!! But then Fillan healed him, so it was just a strong warning!!! Fillan’s followers (Dewars!) were entrusted with keeping this relic, and in 1314 Robert the Bruce carried it with him into the Battle of Bannockburn to whip the English and liberate Scotland.

And one time a wolf ate his ox, so he commanded the wolf to get in the harness and finish up the plowing! And another time he scared off the Loch Ness Monster when it was distracting people from praying! YES!!! At least that’s what I read on one website!

AND HE HAD EIGHT HEALING STONES THAT HE GOT FROM THE RIVER!!! AND HE BLESSED A WELL SO IT CAN HEAL MADMEN!!! AND ALSO A POOL OR LAKE NEAR THE WELL!!!

SO THANK GOD FOR SAINT FILLAN TODAY, OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!!!

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