John Mark Reynolds, 2004.
The Church calls marriage a bloodless martyrdom. I used to think this a rather gloomy way to talk, but that is only because I did not understand martyrdom. Think of all the martyr stories. They are full of joy. The early Christians had to be discouraged from seeking martyrdom, it was so rich and wonderful. Marriage destroys selfishness and this causes pain. Yet after all the pain comes great joy. Sometimes other lives seem more desirable, but still one is married. It does not end based on will or pleasure or whim. And so it endures to change the inner parts of me. I am becoming fit for the one God picked for me. There is a deep pleasure in it. To paraphrase Victoria and Albert perhaps not a grand passion, but something deeper, surely better. Holy. It still fills me with wonder that out of the death of selfishness could come my true life.